Monday, June 17, 2019
By:
If you are only now tuning in to my adventures, I beseech you, dear reader, to start at the very beginning (a very good place to start). Unless you are already well acquainted with the cult of my personality, then you are ill equipped to understand the weight of what follows. So please, at the very least, turn back to “Blog Post 2: The Electric Boogaloo.” Read it, ponder it, and seek to comprehend its truth. Only then may you confidently return to what I have prepared.
Some people go to great lengths to accomplish a self-ordained mission. Despite the perseverance and dedication possessed, however, seemingly insurmountable barriers exist preventing its fruitful completion. Yet, every so often, an opportunity presents itself lowering the threshold for success. I had one of those opportunities this week.
The Department of Commerce hosts an annual event called SelectUSA. It is a three day conference meant to showcase the Nation’s resources and thriving commercial ecosystem and encourage investment right here in the US of A. My office attended to represent our ManufacturingUSA program and spread awareness among interested parties. After only two weeks on the job, I was not expected to swim among the big fish to lure in the delicious bass. Promoting the program and answering questions were not my responsibility. Instead, my mentors told me to immerse myself and absorb anything and everything of interest to me and--potentially--the program. I was given free reign over which days I wanted to attend. I chose Monday, the first day of the conference, as my immersion experience. Every thirty minutes there was a new talk (or two, or three), and an exhibition hall opened where all 50 states and Puerto Rico ran ritzy booths designed to first razzle and dazzle the passersby before tempting them into accepting an informational packet.
I chose Wednesday as my “opportunity.” Select USA concludes its double fisted kind of bash with a series of talks and panel discussions given or moderated by cabinet members and other government fat cats (Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross led a panel discussion on workforce development while simultaneously being held in contempt of court over on Capitol Hill--and who says you can’t multitask?). Well, knowing that you are all now sufficiently briefed on my career aspirations (I trust you all did as I asked), you should anticipate what comes next. That’s right, folks; right there, scheduled in the middle of the morning, was Secretary of Energy Ricky Perry. I had work to do.
Figuring out the layout of the building wasn’t hard. Every attendee was provided a map of the conference levels, rooms, and hallways; everything one needs to determine the optimized exit strategies. My only concern was that the hotel provided their elite guests with hidden exits so that they might avoid pushing through the potentially dangerous but undeniably pedestrian rabble. Secretary Perry could finish his remarks and dip out a direction I would not anticipate. As Wednesday approached, I crossed my fingers and hoped it all went according to plan.
Wednesday arrived, I awoke early, appeared on que, and listened to the talks in anticipation of the man of my hour. Quite suddenly Rick Perry was on stage--a full hour earlier than had been scheduled. Apparently the White House temporarily whisked away Secretary Ross for a meeting thereby prompting an unexpected change to the itinerary. No matter. My machinations were not time sensitive. Originally planned for a 15 minute talk, Perry had to extend his remarks an additional 15 minutes to compensate for the MIA Ross. This came as no problem to a career politician with a Texas personality (hint: it’s big). Once his speech ended I made a respectable beeline (it pays not to run frantically in the company of protected government officials) towards his most likely exit route and waited. Not more than a few minutes later, the double doors to the “hush-hush” hallway swung wide and Secretary Perry emerged with his entourage of bodyguards, assistants, and other assorted staff. I went for it.
“Secretary Perry, do you have time for a photo?” I shouted.
“No!” said a security guard curtly as he pushed past.
“Sure, but you gotta do it fast. Walk with us,” replied Perry.
I stepped directly behind the Secretary in the processional. There seemed to be some ilk of important chatter among the Perry Posse, but I suppose my excitement prevented the material from sinking in. Suddenly the group paused, my phone was given to an assistant, our picture was taken, I told him I wanted his job, and then that was that. No conversation, no advice, nothing that could productively contribute to my career and ambitions was exchanged, but I got just what I wanted.
Did you just read 701 words about my only slightly elaborate maneuvers to meet the Secretary of Energy? Boy howdy you did. How’s that for a blog post?
Before I close, I have a few words on the hips and haps of the cohort. Our room (featuring, beyond myself, Joseph, Terry, and Nolan) has hosted a community dinner every Tuesday since the beginning of the program. We put a twist on the tradition this week and had a Mac + Cheese cook off. Sammi, Joseph, and I each submitted a dish, and the others judged. I thoroughly earned my defeat at the benevolent hands of J. Tibbs.
A quick perusal of the other blog posts will inform you of our exploits upon the waters of the Potomac and the high life of Maryland. Thursday was our dinner cruise. Does food taste better on a boat? Not necessarily, but you can’t do anything about it either way because, well...you’re on a boat. Serving on the water allows you to get away with more than your day-to-day landlubber. A salad, for instance, can be two quarters of a head of lettuce and 5 croutons.
Are you going to do anything about it?
No!
Do you know why?
Because you’re on a boat.
I sound critical, but I had a spectacular time upon the Odyssey (yeah, real missed opportunity with the spelling there), and the open dance floor provided the definite highlight.
Saturday we were treated to a night at the National Orchestral Institute and Festival at the University of Maryland thanks to the resources of AIP’s very own Jack Hehn. The theme of the evening’s concert was contemporary American composers. George Gershwin’s Concerto in F with Kevin Cole on the piano closed an already rousing selection of pieces and performances. I used to be a much more steady visitor of the orchestra, and our trip that night reminded me of just how much I miss it. Fancy living, here I come.
Nicholas Stubblefield